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Fletch Blog: Fedor, The Ultimate FaceThePain Championship and "The New Breed of Heavyweight"…


Good morning, sports fans. Open your knees and feel the breeze, sit back and smoke your pipe, cos I’m here to attack Zuffa propaganda with Team Takeover at my back, tweaking the nipples of the MMA world…

It seems only fitting that in my first lyrical rampage at lowkick – bastion of MMA news and features – I should start with the Great One. The big cheese, the dog’s bollocks, the crème de la crème of the sport. Yes, I am referring to a pudgy, prematurely bald Russian man. Why waste article uno on some snivelling mediocrity? Why be content with anything less than the best? Better than all the rest? Better than anyone? Anyone I’ve ever met…

*Tina Turner need not apply for royalties. I’m penniless, sweetheart…*

OK, the introductions are made, the pipe is laden with Drum tobacco, so let the festivities begin. This is the point where the posters of Axis-dog, mma-stinker and all the other Mixed Martial Arts cesspools of stupidity need to remain silent, while the adults speak. Because the subject I plan to spit my prose all lyrical like upon, is the very subject that these thousands of dribbling fucking infants have been whining over across every large MMA forum for the past two years: Fedor and the UFC.

Yes, Fedor, his legacy, and the looming, sinister presence of the Ultimate FaceThePain Championship – our beloved Yankee doodle organisation that supposedly has the best interests of the sport’s worldwide growth in mind, with every event, every press release and every new conquest… yet, despite their well-being and benevolence for all things MMA, they (for some strange reason) make it their modus operandi to downgrade and attack the legacy of the finest professional fighter to ever lace up the gloves in mixed grappling and striking combat; Fedor “The Last Emperor” Emelianenko.

And that is criminal.

UFC President and The Baldfather, Dana White, continually makes ludicrous claims that Fedor is NOT p4p material, nor is he a top 5 heavyweight. Worse, he mindlessly spat out this misinformation PRIOR to Fedor’s first ever loss, after a decade of dominance! When his own “top heavyweights” have not faced each other to prove their greatness, and nor have they beaten dangerous fighters that by consensus are sufficiently skilled enough to make a legitimate challenge to Fedor, yet they STILL make absurd public statements downplaying Fedor, the UFC and Dana come off like jealous, jilted lovers. It is sad that the President of the world’s (sadly) largest MMA organisation is such an immature man, that in the interests of public relations and UFC propaganda, he will not only insult Fedor personally on ESPN radio, but will also happily tarnish the career and legacy of this sport’s best fighter…

Sadder still, my friends; there are tens of thousands of fucking idiots who happily ingest and swallow all this misinformation, then spread it like truth. It’s like a retard-friendly game of Chinese whispers.

Allow me, dear reader, to review the logic and context of the claim – made by Zuffa LLC, and duly repeated by an entire generation of brainwashed American idiots who “train UFC” – the claim that Fedor Emelianenko, the man who imperiously stood atop the heavyweight mountain for seven long years… is “ducking” the UFC.

(ps – if you have EVER even suggested that this claim is feasible, fuck your life…)

Lets take a look at Fedor’s career, where he is now, and what exactly it is that he is “ducking” compared to the men he has already fought, could potentially fight, and will definitely wage war against in the cage.

Pride Fighting Championships are considered by many to be the very pinnacle of Mixed Martial Arts (read my history of the org at http://teamtakeover.forum-express.com/mma-f1/pride-fc-in-remembrance-of-the-finest-org-1997-2007-t180.htm) Emelianenko entered the Japanese promotion after a successful introduction to MMA with Rings, as an undersized heavyweight but with a lethal combination of outstanding throws and clinch, dangerous hands and a tremendous overall submission game. He duly triumphed over the future GOAT of K-1, Semmy “High Tower” Schilt; the most lethal lanky striker to live. If only Pride knew at the time they were essentially promoting a fight between the #1 All Time Greats of two different combat sports…

Soon into his Pride career, he earned a Heavyweight title shot against the consensus Second Greatest Of All Time: Rodrigo Nogueira. Nog is a Brazilian man who not only boasts a wealth of BJJ and submission grappling wizardry, he is a man who survived having a truck run over his chest as a kid, to become a Vale Tudo world heavyweight champion. That makes Nogueira tougher than Dan Quinn believes HIMSELF to be!

Fedor spent most of the fight either throwing Nog like a rag doll, pounding his face into the mat, or even Ground’n’Pounding him from within Nogueira’s guard. At the time, it was hands down THE most dangerous guard in the sport. That is what Fedor achieved, to become the Pride HW champion. No one would ever claim that title again.

Fedor defeated Nogueira again. He blew through a procession of former and future champions, from a variety of orgs. He took on and defeated K1 World Grand Prix champions, and ADCC submission grappling masters, Olympic Gold Medallist judoka’s and MMA champions of Pride and the UFC. He beat the other feared heavyweight Pride had to offer, the former K-1 terminator who ran the gauntlet of fire just to earn his Superfight with Fedor; Mirko “CroCop” Filipovic, the deadliest striker as yet seen in the sport. Fedor beat him in his own domain; out-striking him, forcing him onto the backfoot, and controlling the pace of the fight.

Fedor, quite simply, could not be touched.

I could be pedantic, and run through the rest of Fedor’s Pride career, but we all know it by heart; thanks to the dribbling, socially incapable retards on sherdog… excuse me, Axis-dog forums, who posted their “expert analysis” of that career across the forums, explaining to each and every one of us exactly why each and every single win of Fedor’s was “overrated”.

Fedor defeating Nogueira again = overrated.
Fedor beating Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic = overrated.
Fedor being 7-0 (currently) against UFC champions = overrated.
Fedor having defeated UFC champions, Olympians, Pride champs, K-1 champions, Grand Prix winners in both K-1 and MMA (Pride), ADCC champs, Rings champs, top 10 opponents and badass motherfuckers alike = vastly, vastly overrated.

All that is overrated! Because we all know – Fedor is scared of the post-2008 UFC “New Breed of Heavyweight!!” It’s a fact, sons!

Brock Lesnar, Shane Carwin, Frank Mir, Todd Duffee, Junior Dos Santos, and Cain Velasquez are the names that were thrown at each and every fan that – obviously, in their right mind – happened to support the Greatest of all Time. But hold on… tell me, these are the guys that happened to usurp the top dogs of the UFC circa 2009, yes? Well, when Fedor was first accused of avoiding the UFC after the demise of Pride (mid 2007) the three top heavyweights were Tim Sylvia (champion), Randy Couture (who then beat Tim), and Andrei Arlovski (had been champion previously).

Fedor faced TWO of that three – Sylvia and Arlovski – and – as ever, vastly undersized – he destroyed them both in a combined 3 minutes and 50 seconds. He signed to fight the third (Couture) but the fight was cancelled, due to Randy resigning with the UFC.

Ducking? The elites of the UFC are what Fedor fears? The men at the top when Pride collapsed and Fedor was left without a home, are precisely the men who LEFT the UFC willingly to prove themselves against HIM, the men whom he respectively choked into submission, and scud missiled into unconsciousness in a matter of minutes….




(continued next post)