Biiyen
09-02-2005, 14:22
Masturbating in class. A practice that for many years college students have considered an urban legend. "How do you do it without anyone seeing you?" How do you do it without anyone hearing you?" And most importantly, "What do you do with the, you know, stuff, when you are done?" Well, I am here to answer these questions and more for all of you horny scholars who have to walk back to your dorm with a huge boner because you have been staring at the girl in front of you's thong for the last 50 minutes and don't know how to unload the gun in class.
For me, it all started in Ms. Sexton's human sexuality class. Fresh out of college herself, her class was the only class that never had an empty seat. At first, I didn't think I would have to even masturbate in her class, I was pretty sure if I heard her say "penis" or "vagina" in class one more time then I would blow a load right there. After about three weeks of 10:00-10:50 Monday Wednesday Friday boners, I finally got a technique down that I was pretty sure was flawless, and boy was it. Here are my 5 easy steps in "The Art of Masturbating in Class".
1. Sit in the back corner: This is by far the most important step. It doesn't matter if it is the left or right if you are a switch hitter, but if you have a preference, you might want to sit in the corner in which hand you prefer.Also, you don't have to be all the way in the back as long as there is no one behind or to the side of you.
2. Wear loose pants: They don't have to be sweat pants (though it does help), baggy jeans work just fine. Even if you aren't very blessed in the lower region, you still have to fit your hand down there. I guess you could always just try whipping it out, but I wouldn't recommend it.
3. Learn the squeeze method: This is a method of masturbating that can easily be practiced at home. You start the same way as regular no-lube-masturbating but once you get to the head, you don't keep stroking up and down, you just squeeze and the head should be pushed down, then when you loosen your grip it should go back up. Just squeeze, loosen, squeeze, loosen, and like any other way of masturbating, the faster you go the better it feels. The reason for this method is that this way, not your whole arm moves like with normal masturbating, only your hand. You can build up your muscles for this by squeezing a tennis ball.
4. Take long deep breaths: You can't be making crazy moaning or groaning sounds or it just may bring a little attention to yourself. I have found the long deep breathing helps you to control your whole body better and keeps you relaxed during this whole blissfull process.
5. Learn to dry ejaculate: Unless you wanna walk around all day wet and sticky, this is a very important step, and like step three, one that can be practiced in the privacy of your dorm room. For those of you who are not familiar with the dry orgasm, how this works is you still climax and it feels pretty much just as good, but without all the mess. This is hard to learn to do flawlessly but very crucial in staying dry. Right before you reach climax, just suck in really hard like you are holding back a big piss. It may be hard at first but it can get easy by practicing doing kegal exercises.
For me, it all started in Ms. Sexton's human sexuality class. Fresh out of college herself, her class was the only class that never had an empty seat. At first, I didn't think I would have to even masturbate in her class, I was pretty sure if I heard her say "penis" or "vagina" in class one more time then I would blow a load right there. After about three weeks of 10:00-10:50 Monday Wednesday Friday boners, I finally got a technique down that I was pretty sure was flawless, and boy was it. Here are my 5 easy steps in "The Art of Masturbating in Class".
1. Sit in the back corner: This is by far the most important step. It doesn't matter if it is the left or right if you are a switch hitter, but if you have a preference, you might want to sit in the corner in which hand you prefer.Also, you don't have to be all the way in the back as long as there is no one behind or to the side of you.
2. Wear loose pants: They don't have to be sweat pants (though it does help), baggy jeans work just fine. Even if you aren't very blessed in the lower region, you still have to fit your hand down there. I guess you could always just try whipping it out, but I wouldn't recommend it.
3. Learn the squeeze method: This is a method of masturbating that can easily be practiced at home. You start the same way as regular no-lube-masturbating but once you get to the head, you don't keep stroking up and down, you just squeeze and the head should be pushed down, then when you loosen your grip it should go back up. Just squeeze, loosen, squeeze, loosen, and like any other way of masturbating, the faster you go the better it feels. The reason for this method is that this way, not your whole arm moves like with normal masturbating, only your hand. You can build up your muscles for this by squeezing a tennis ball.
4. Take long deep breaths: You can't be making crazy moaning or groaning sounds or it just may bring a little attention to yourself. I have found the long deep breathing helps you to control your whole body better and keeps you relaxed during this whole blissfull process.
5. Learn to dry ejaculate: Unless you wanna walk around all day wet and sticky, this is a very important step, and like step three, one that can be practiced in the privacy of your dorm room. For those of you who are not familiar with the dry orgasm, how this works is you still climax and it feels pretty much just as good, but without all the mess. This is hard to learn to do flawlessly but very crucial in staying dry. Right before you reach climax, just suck in really hard like you are holding back a big piss. It may be hard at first but it can get easy by practicing doing kegal exercises.