PDA

View Full Version : F**k My Life..


Mickey
12-03-2009, 16:00
Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML


(http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/18551)
Mickey
12-03-2009, 16:00
Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room... my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML
Mickey
12-03-2009, 16:01
Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
Mickey
12-03-2009, 16:01
Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. She can't drive, our mom drove her there. FML
Mickey
12-03-2009, 16:02
Today, I wanted to have a good lunch with my wife before fasting for my surgery which I may not survive, she decided getting her hair cut was more important. I ate alone. FML
Mickey
12-03-2009, 16:02
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. At that point I noticed my phone had fallen out of my pocket in the street and was run over by several cars. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
Mickey
12-03-2009, 16:02
Hahaha ze zijn echt bitter..
F*** my life : Everyday life top stories (http://www.fmylife.com/top)
Mickey
12-03-2009, 16:03
LOL!!

Today, my mom : "You and your dad like all the same foods right? Try this for me", she then proceeds to give me a strawberry flavored jelly. (http://www.fmylife.com/sex/112605) I say that it tastes good and ask what she gave me. (http://www.fmylife.com/sex/112605) "It's my new nipple cream, I want to surprise your dad tonight. (http://www.fmylife.com/sex/112605)" FML (http://www.fmylife.com/sex/112605)
micha
12-03-2009, 16:28
lol
Paganstars
12-03-2009, 16:47
wtf! FML FTW!