how the fight started

[chief108]

Justinian woke up about 5 am got up and got dressed and quietly left his wife sleeping he went out to the garage and hooked up his boat to go fishing.

He slowly started the car and backed out of the garage. Outside it was pouring rain and the wind was gusting to about 50 mph. He turned on the radio and the weatherman said it would be like that all day.

So Justinian pulled back into the garage, then went back into the house got undressed and slid into bed then snuggled up against his wife’s back.

Is that you honey she asked? Yes he said the weather outside is terrible
His wife replied …and can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?

And that’s how the fight started

[chief108]

There I was on my way to Wal-Mart ... getting into a fight was the farthest thing from my mind ... wasn't even on the horizon ... was in a great mood ... and then ... I rear-ended a car.

So there we are alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car ... and you know how you just-get-sooo-stressed and life-stuff seems to get funny?

Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it ... he was a DWARF!

He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"

So, I look down at him and said, "Well, which one are you then?"


............. and that's when the fight started.

[blazin.arr0w::::]

Die 2e is beter :D

[chief108]

I heard my wife crying in the bathroom. "Honey? What's wrong" I asked.
"Oh, George! Just look at me: I'm getting so old! I have more gray in my hair than blonde, I have varicose veins on both of my legs, and I'm just fat and wrinkled all over! I really need someone to say something positive about me right now!"
I looked deeply into her eyes and said softly: "Your vision's real good, honey. That's something, isn't it?"
And that's when the fight started....

[chief108]

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.
So I took her to a gas station.
And that's when the fight started....

[chief108]

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....

[chief108]

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," I sighed, "She was my senior year girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says my wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And that's when the fight started....

[chief108]

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....

[chief108]

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot
as a Christmas gift.
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the
gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....

[chief108]

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later..
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.'
So I opened my shirt, revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too . . ' . . .

and that's how the fight started.

[chief108]

My wife walked into the den & asked "Whats on the tv?"
I replied "Dust".
And that's how the fight started.....

[chief108]

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200
in about 3 seconds.
I bought her a scale.
And that's how the fight started.....

[chief108]

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer
would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that's when the fight started.....

[chief108]

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's when the fight started.....

[Dennuz]

hehe, zitten leuke tussen :D

[biggz]

Hahaha ik kan je helaas geen reps geven

[Paganstars]

Hahaha keep em cumming Chief!

[dontmindme]

ik wil bijna een relatie beginnen om deze teksten te kunnen gebruiken